A View of Our Deck on 1/10/09

Miss Heather Grace Krauss

Here is my daughter Heather, pictured on New Year's Eve (next to my $8.50 x-mas tree I got from Flower Factory, and yes, I know it looks very Charlie Brownish).

In the TV shows I used to watch when my kids were toddlers, one of the songs went something like "one of these things is not like the other..." and you had to guess what it was.

Well if you looked at our family, I guess you'd have to say Heather is not like the others.

For one thing, she's thin. She was home for winter break and kept a diary of everything she ate. What she ate was mostly low fat soup and no-fat cheese. Who eats no-fat cheese? No one in our house, except Heather! It took me twice as long to buy food at the grocery store when she was home as I had to look for things I never bought for the rest of our family (and never will again). The no fat milk got tossed as soon as Heather went back to school.

When Heather was in high school, she was captain of the varsity girls' basketball team. When I was in high school, they had intramural teams, and 5 of us friends who were equally inept formed a team. I am kind of embarrassed to admit that we had a record of straight losses. Never won a game. And actually never even expected to win a game!

Heather is artistic. She can draw beautifully. She did not inherit that talent from me, but probably from my mother.

Heather has these small graceful fingers. David and Joe have the biggest hands I've ever seen in my life.

I think of myself as being a logical person. I don't know that you could say the same about Heather. She's kind of out there sometimes. I very much look forward to seeing her finish college, start a career, and navigate the basic skills of living - getting her own place, washing her own dishes and clothes. Especially washing her own dishes! I can't wait to see that.

I recognize that sameness can be boring, so it is kind of fun watching this person who didn't seem to inherit much from us, other than her dislike of housework, her sense of humor (and her wonderful laugh). That is one of the reasons I am so happy to see Heather in our family, with all her differences.

(By the way, is anyone out there looking for a cute summer intern who is majoring in business?)

Patty's Portrait of Pepper

For Christmas, my sister-in-law Patty gave me this amazing portrait of my lovely dog Pepper that she painted. I am so impressed!

Joe and Josie

A picture of Joe on New Year's Eve, holding a doll someone made of David after he won a chili cook-off.

My son Joe is a very funny kid. He was hell to raise, but he has a natural sense of humor. And often I'll share things he's said or done with my co-workers. I assume they will listen and forget, as I tend to do with most things. But often they will tell me how they laughed about something I had told them a long time ago that stuck with them.

That happened yesterday at work. Donna in the office next door told me her favorite story was the account of Joe's visit to the doctor. Two years ago, at age 17, we decided that a 200+ lb 17 year old did not belong in the pediatrician's office with all the babies. So he graduated to our internist. I went with him, and we were both sitting in the waiting room, when the nurse came out and announced "Josie Cross." Well, Joe's name is "Joe Krauss" and we assumed that the nurse had slaughtered his name, as people tend to do. So he rolled his eyes and got up to follow the nurse. As this happened, a woman in the waiting room also got up to follow the nurse. It all happened too fast for me to yell to Joe that this woman's name was probably Josie Cross and that she was being called to the waiting room. So here these two strangers started to follow the nurse back into the where the offices are. And I sat there all by myself, laughing at this sight. I could just imagine the nurse thinking that they were together and leaving them in the office together. Well as they set off down the hall, another nurse came out and announced "Joseph Krauss." Fortunately, Joe had not gone too far off into the maze of offices, and he heard her and reappeared, with a very red face. I also had a very red face, because I could not stop laughing, thinking of all the scenarios in my imagination.

Grandma Helen and Grandpa Sid

I recently found a frame for an old picture of Grandma Helen and Grandpa Sid, and as I framed it, I started reminiscing...

Helen and Sid were my mother's parents. Sid owned his own drug store in the days when people lived and shopped in Cleveland (as opposed to the suburbs of Cleveland). What did that mean to us 7 grandchildren? CANDY! Maybe that's how I became the Candy Queen! Every time we went for dinner at Grandma and Grandpa's, we would open the drawer at the bottom of their oven, where Grandma stored every bag they had ever received. And we could fill our bag with candy. Provided, of course, that we finished our dinner. Maybe this is where my weight issues started.

Grandma was a wonderful cook. She made these wonderful Hungarian Nutballs, and Kraut Halushken (cabbage with noodles). She sang in the Cleveland Orchestra Chorus and she befriended conductors and singers who performed in the Pops concerts. As a matter of fact, I was named after one of those singers, Bonnie Murray, and she would always spend time with us when she was in Cleveland. (And we continued to exchange Christmas cards until her death last year.)

Grandma was also really good with flowers, and I remember her marigolds.

In my younger days, my parents would go out on Saturday nights, and Grandma and Grandpa were my baby sitters. Ah yes, I can remember many a Saturday night spent watching Lawrence Welk on TV. I do remember one night, which I have never told anyone about, when I was supposed to be in bed. Something made me want to know what was going on downstairs. I snuck partway down the stairs and apparently Grandma was having chest pain. She did not want to seek medical treatment. So Grandpa just sat there holding her hand, telling her it was going to be ok.

Family dinners at Grandma and Grandpa's, with our aunt and uncle and cousins, were always a wonderful time. After cooking for 13 people, Grandma and Grandpa would clean up while we had fun; Grandma would wash and Grandpa would dry.

If you visited Grandma and Grandpa and it wasn't dinnertime, you would likely be offered cold Vernors ginger ale, with an assortment of cookies in a canister on top of the refrigerator. Their house was a very comfortable house, and I often drive by it, wondering what it looks like now.

Grandma got sick with breast cancer and ended up in a nursing home. Grandpa went to visit her every day. After she died, he continued to work at drugstores as a pharmacist, well into his late 80s, as well as helping our family out. Friday was cleaning day. I remember him coming to help my mom vacuum and do whatever else was needed in the house, including walking Goldie our wonderful dog.

Grandpa's son, my Uncle Buddy, died a few years after Grandma and I can't imagine what it was like for him to bury a son.

I remember Grandpa's beloved cigar. In his later years, he moved in with my parents, who did not want the cigar smell in their house. Sometimes we'd drive up to my parents' house, and there was Grandpa, sitting on the front porch in the dead of winter, bundled up in his hat and coat, smoking his cigar.

One time I came in town for my brother's wedding. I came with my old boyfriend, Larry. When it was time to leave, Larry and I were going to drive Grandpa home. Larry pulled out a cigarette and offered one to Grandpa. To my extreme surprise, he said "oh yeah, I'll have one of those. I haven't had one of those in years...." And I sat there dying, waiting for my very anti-smoking parents to discover grandpa smoking a cigarette (they never did, but the memory still makes me smile).

When I went away to college, Grandpa would send me a little check for "coke money" as he called it. One spring, my parents came to bring me home from college in Toronto. They brought Grandpa with them. That car was so jammed with stuff that when we went through customs, the customs guy never even saw him. He asked my parents and I questions, but skipped Grandpa, who was buried in all my belongings.

Grandpa worked hard all his life. He never complained and always went about his business in a low key manner. He was 88 when he died. I wish my husband and kids could have known him.

Missy and Milo

About eight years ago, we lost our cat Rocky. Literally. I opened the door, she got out, and we were never able to find her. Well, if you read my post about Pepper the dog, you'll know that all of my animals seem to come with baggage. We had gotten Rocky shortly after one of our cats died and we saw an ad in the paper. We went to this old lady's house who lived about 20 minutes away. She loved Rocky but her husband was allergic. We took Rocky home with us. Anyway, we lost her, and I put an ad in the paper with our phone number. I got calls from several well-meaning souls, who told me to call the police and to check with the Animal Protective League (APL) on a daily basis. Then I got the dreaded call from the old lady saying "you didn't lose our cat, did you?" Like I didn't feel bad enough.

So it was time to look for a new one or two. My sister-in-law Mary told us about this lady she knew who wanted to give away a kitten. I called the lady, and she gave me her address, and I set out to meet her, with Heather and Joe in tow, at the appointed time. She lived in an apartment, and when we got to the parking lot, a large lady wearing a mumu and what those of us who were brought up knowing a few Yiddish words would call a schmata on her head. Yeah, she was kinda weird looking. She invited us into her apartment and we all sat down and she brought the kitten in. It wasn't an especially friendly kitten and I began to wonder what is the etiquette in a situation like this - you say thanks but no thanks? We didn't even know if she would offer to give us the kitten, but if she didn't, we didn't really want it. Well that part of the visit wasn't bad enough, but then she asked us if we wanted to see her birds. We said ok, thinking we'd find a couple of birds in a cage. Wrong. She brings us into the extra bedroom, where there were many birds flying through the room! We had to duck our heads to avoid being hit by the birds! By this time, all 3 of us just wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. So I said we needed to get going, and that we were going to think about that kitten of hers.

We fled to our car, where I said "we are going to the APL today." Both kids quickly agreed (and my kids never agree with my proclamations). So we came home and collected David and headed down to the APL.

We already had a cat at home, but I told David I had heard that the best way to bring a kitten into a strange home is to get 2 kittens together. He did not like that idea. But if you've ever been to the APL, where you can take each pet out of its cage and try it out, you'll know it's hard to come home with only one. Twice in one day, my kids were in agreement with me that we needed two kittens. David finally (reluctantly) agreed.

As we stood in line to buy our new kittens, which Heather named Missy and Milo, there was a dad and his son behind us. The dad was on his cell phone trying to convince his wife that they, too, needed two kittens. The wife didn't buy it, and they were permitted to bring home only one.

So that's how Missy and Milo arrived. And we later discovered that they (like most cats) have an "M" on their foreheads. And they are two of the sweetest creatures I've ever known.

Ya Just Never Know

I just went to Giant Eagle, my local grocery store. I knew I was in trouble when I couldn't find a place to park. I walked in, and the lines were way too long. That's ok, I figured, they will be down some by the time I check out. Wrong. The lines were so bad that you couldn't get past anyone to get in another line. So I got in the first line. It was not moving. It was annoying. I realized I was in annoyed mode - you know when everything and everyone in the world annoys you! (The day started with Heather slowly getting ready to go back to college today, way past the time she and David were supposed to leave...and I'm one of those pack-the-car-the-night-before-and-leave-early-in-the-morning kinds of people). I knew David had a long day in front of him - 4 hours there, 4 hours back, and I always worry that he'll fall asleep. I know I would.

But I digress. I finally got a view of the cashier. He was carrying on a conversation with the bagger-girl. He was scanning as he talked, but he definitely could have moved faster. As each new customer came up, he would ask "and how are you today?" Well, I was damned annoyed! And I thought well how should I respond? "Well, I'm running late"......"Well I'm tired of standing in line..." So meek old me gets up there and he asks how I am today and I smiled and said "fine, how are you?" And he looked at me and he said "I remember you - the last time you were in here, you were very nice to me, and I always remember the people who are nice to me." And I stood there feeling very humbled. And glad that I had not used one of the responses I had planned. I mean, really, maybe seconds would have been saved if he had been a little faster, but not much more than that.

And I started to think to myself "ya just never know...."

Many years ago, we had a client that was known for being very very demanding. And not just demanding, but unreasonable. She asked me to send her something, and I did. Well, she lost it, and she called my boss, telling him she had asked me for something and I had not sent it. Well my record-keeping is pretty good - it's like I anticipate someone accusing me of something, so I always have the back-up. And I showed it to my boss. And he called her and told her the date I had sent it to her. She then went looking for it, and what do you know, she found it. She never apologized; she just told him she had stuck it in her office and forgot about it. Many years later, I was asked to serve on a non-profit board. I looked at the letterhead, and yeah, you guessed it - the "demanding unreasonable one" also served on the board. And I almost declined, just because I couldn't stand being in the same room with this woman. But I thought she should not stop me from this, and I joined. At the first meeting I attended, she came up to me and greeted me like a long lost best friend. I do forgive, but I don't forget, and when I think of this woman, the number one memory will be that call she made to my boss.

I did learn a lesson from that, and that was always to approach the person I felt had neglected me before going higher up, because it could have been a misunderstanding (worse yet, it could have been my own fault).

In December, our local paper had an article with gift suggestions. It included a site where you could order THE BEST CANDY. Annesdecadentdelights.com. I'll include a portion of the "about us" part: "Decadent Delights started in 2007 on a dream of a stay-at-home mom looking for a career that would fit around her busy family lifestyle. Decadent Delights has grown from a love of chocolate almond toffee crunch (homemade recipe) to a true marketing company geared for every holiday, special occasion, and corporate event." This blog allowed you to order 2 free samples, if you just paid for shipping. But what caught my eye was a quote that was in both the local paper and in the website, saying that this candy was "like a Heath Bar on steroids." Well I didn't need more of a push than that! So I ordered my free sample, which cost me $4.80 in shipping and handling. A week later, the most amazing 4 pieces of candy that I have ever eaten (you have to be a Heath bar fan) arrived. I was so impressed, I emailed the owner and told her it was the best candy I'd ever eaten. She emailed me back and thanked me and asked me she could quote me on her website (in my email I had referred to myself as the Candy Queen). She would send me a $10 gift certificate for my words. Well, I didn't have to think twice about that one. I really was just trying to recognize the quality of her product, and I prefer to deal with a stay-at-home-mom entrepreneur anyway.

A $10 gift certificate for my favorite candy in the world!

Yeah, ya just never know.