Monday, April 20, 2009

Sundays with Suzy

Many years ago, I was required to attend Sunday school at temple. Most years I was just bored and tired, but I made some new friends along the way. However, one year of Sunday school was a nightmare. Why? Because of mean Suzy.

In my youth, I have no memories of anyone tormenting me other than that year of Sundays with Suzy. Suzy was just plain cruel. I don't remember the details of any of her remarks, other than that she was just plain mean. On the few times when Suzy was absent, I could stand Sunday school, but when she was there, I just dreaded going.

Suzy had escaped from my mind (most things these days have escaped from my mind). Well, today I attended the funeral of a friend's mother. After the graveside service, everyone was invited to my friend's house. As is the Jewish tradition, the family sat and ate a meal - a dairy tray. As an aside, I will add that David and I love dairy trays but we have noticed that the only time we ever get dairy trays is when someone dies. Anyway, David likes the lox and other smoked fish and I like the gefilte fish, creamed herring, egg salad, etc. So many treats all together on one tray.

So David and I arrived at my friend's house. I had allowed time for my friend and her family to get there and eat. We arrived, and the family was at the table eating from the tray. David and I stood around talking and then we decided to leave. We went to say goodbye to my friend and she said "come and have some food." I said no, we're not hungry." I lied because I think that those expensive dairy trays are only for the family. She kept insisting and said "I'd like to sit down and talk with you - just come and sit at the table and have something to eat." She didn't have to twist our arms. So we sat down at this long table - 2 tables pushed together, actually. I was at the end of the table. I looked at the other end of the table, and - OMG, it was Suzy! I asked my friend "who is that woman at the other end of the table?" She said "her name is Suzy _______." Holy shit, I thought. My friend asked if I knew her and I said yes, she tormented me many years ago in Sunday school. I hate her.

Well my husband took offense to that remark. "Bonnie," he asked "do you know what she's like today?" And I said "I don't care what she's like today. I hate her." He said "for all you know, she could be a perfectly nice person." I said "no way - once a mean person, always a mean person. Mean people don't become nice." And he gave me his "you are an idiot" look. My friend asked what we were talking about. I said well, David thinks people can change, and I say someone who was so mean can never be nice. And my friend said "I agree with you. I was very tall in my youth, and my mother made me go to dance classes, and one of the girls in that class was so mean to me, and occasionally I see that girl (lady) when I'm out shopping, and she doesn't remember me, but I remember her, and I always think that one day I'd like to walk up to her and say 'you know, you were really mean to me when I was young, and it really hurt my feelings, and anyway, you're ugly.'"

I don't know why that struck me as so funny, but it did.

I am just not the type to approach someone and say something like that, but I can fantasize that I will have that encounter with Suzy, and say the words my friend wanted to say to her tormentor.

9 comments:

Jeanie said...

I laughed when I read this, because I think I come down on David's side! Although, I will also add it's pretty difficult to forgive and forget torment! But I've seen enough people change in other ways, that I can't help but think that perhaps something may have happened somewhere along the way to take the edge off the meanness -- help them see what they did.

Still, the imaginary encounter sounds divine to think about!

Delaney said...

I know how you feel and there are a lot of kids from my elementary school days I would love to let have it for all the meanness I suffered at their hands. Children can be so cruel and those cuts last forever. I don't blame you at all and David is wrong, so there! I said it. LOL! Mean kids turn into mean adults or at least snotty ones.

Bella Rum said...

I think a lot of us have a similar story we could tell. My "Suzy" was a Windy. She had a face like an angel, but her ways were wicked. LOL

Carole said...

There was a girl in junior high that used to torment my friend and I, although we managed to survive. Years later in high school she was the victim of a vindictive boyfriend who told everyone in school that she wore Mickey Mouse underwear and became a laughingstock. It was so suh-WEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

delaney55 said...

I have something for you over at my place, stop by and see me.

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

I found my grade school bully standing on my front lawn a couple of years ago fondling the leaves on one of my newly planted trees. Turns out he had moved across the street about a year before that and I never even noticed. He was an incredibly scary guy with a matching older brother who went around the neighborhood with a scowl permanently plastered on his face. He trained his doberman to be mean and it bit someone walking past. He had a softer side with the elderly neighbors and was living at home caring for his sick parents. He just was scary to everyone else.

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

What's a zombie chicken award?

Mich said...

I agree with your theory.

The Last Post said...

I too was a victim of bullies at school, I also saw one of the culprits some years ago and she still looked cruel so I agree with you some people never change. She did recognise me but I just ignored her.